Have We Abandoned the Feminine?
When you feel you are being moved by the creative spirit, you are in fact being moved by the divine feminine.” ~ Teri Delger
What's happened to the value that historically (many many lifetimes ago) was placed on being a sensual, intuitive, feminine woman? There were times when humans worshipped Mother Earth, the Goddess. Women were revered and honored for their femininity.
Within each human being there are masculine and feminine energies. When we balance the two, we can feel both that we are powerful, accomplished and focused as well as in communion, sensual, flowing with their natural rhythms, creative, beautiful, and in harmony.
I think it'd be fair to say that most of us are not living this way.
I think we've over-prioritized the energy of the masculine (doing) – in our heads, getting stuff done, goal orientation, and productivity; and under-prioritized the energy of the feminine (being) – in our hearts, flowing, loving, non-linear creativity, inner guidance, and deep compassion for that which is meaningful in life. For the most part, the majority of us, men and women, are acting very masculine and devaluing the feminine. Our culture supports this.
We're told “it’s a man’s world” or to “act like a man.” The characteristics that represent the masculine such as competitiveness and assertiveness are considered STRONG and those that represent the feminine such as nurturing and compassion are seen as WEAK or INEFFECTIVE.
We're out of balance. And, as a result, we're tired and too busy.
We wonder how it could be another way.
If you're a parent, you know that there seem to be a million things that need to be done and never enough time to get even part of that list knocked off. And it rarely seems that any of those tasks are not important to do – pay the bills, sign up for summer camp, help with homework, buy new baseball cleats, plan the birthday party, etc.
In the workplace, the energy of the masculine is revered – get stuff done, achieve your goals, stay the course, there's no place for your feelings around here, etc. It all seems to make perfect sense…if you're getting paid, of course you should be productive and “earn your keep.” It seems that we have been left with no option but to increase our productivity game and orient ourselves towards the masculine.
But there is another option. We can embrace our feminine and masculine sides. No part of us needs to be rejected.
I want you to think about Aphrodite for a moment. Visualize what it would be like to slow down and feel into your body – to feel your desires, to delight in your body, to feel sensual. Religion and our otherwise repressed culture have conditioned us to reject the Aphrodite, the Divine Feminine, that resides deep within us.
We don’t have to reject it.
Now think about Mary, in Christianity, she stands for being one with another, seeing the beauty and good in each other.
Our cynicism, competitiveness, polarization and busy-ness have stolen our ability to feel our oneness, to see the good, the love, in our fellow human’s heart.
We can take it back.
“The heroine must become a spiritual warrior…She must not discard nor give up what she has learned throughout her heroic quest, but learn to view her hard-earned skills and success not so much as a goal but as one part of the entire journey. She will begin to use these skills to work toward the larger quest of bringing people together, rather than her own individual gain. This is the sacred marriage of the feminine and masculine–when a woman can truly serve not only the needs of others but can value and be responsive to her own needs as well.” ~Maureen Murdock
This is not about feminism.
In fact, the feminist movement contributed in some ways to where we are. I'm deeply grateful for all that my sisters have done in the past to bring us to where women are today. There really was no other way – the feminist movement did exactly what we needed it to do. Yes, in many ways women attained “equal” rights at the expense of our feminine nature.
However, it's because of their efforts that we're safe enough and empowered enough to have the CHOICE to bring back our feminine nature in a more conscious way now.
We're in a better place than ever to embrace the Divine Feminine that resides inside of each of us AND continue to be powerful, effective, and assertive. We've been taught not to have desires, to be independent and to take care of ourselves, and to get stuff done.
We're more than just that.
I'm encouraging you to find all of you and bring your entire self to your life – to delight in the sensual, softer, feeling, intuitive feminine embedded in you. And to continue to be all that you currently are as well.
Choose masculine energy when you need to – it’s valuable and necessary to get stuff done. Just remember that you are MORE than just your masculine side.
Any time we reject any part of us, we're left feeling like something is missing. Has this been true for you?
“Unless we awaken to the mystery of the sacred feminine, of the feminine as sacred, and allow it to glow into, irradiate, illumine, and penetrate every area of our activity….we will die out and take nature, or a large part of it, with us.” Andrew Harvey, from The Return of the Mother
Some practical suggestions for getting in touch with your feminine energy:
- Increase your sensory experience. Literally touching one hand with your fingers or savoring the taste of your food.
- Take time in nature, listen to the birds and other animals, touch the trees. For men and women alike, exploring the feminine energies within you is also about restoring mankind’s disconnect from Mother Earth.
- Dance. Sing. Move your body. Move your hips.
- Nurture yourself – take a bath, get a pedicure, go for a walk.
- Create. This could be through art, business, your body, food, or anything else where your creative juices flow.
- Eat slowly and savor the flavor and consistency of your food.
- Light a candle.
- Decorate your space. Enjoy the little details.
- Soften to others in your life:
- Allow others to help you. Ask for help.
- Try to find the good in others. Trust that they are doing the best that they can.
- For women: Don’t always feel like you need to tell your man “your way”. Maybe he has another (better) way to do it. If not, let your man make mistakes and learn from them. Empower him. Allow him to solve a problem for you. To take care of you.
- Connect to yourself:
- Slow down. Take time to breathe deeply.
- Listen to the whispers of your heart. They tell you what you really want.
- Tune into your body and allow the wisdom of your body to guide you.
Wholeness is the way forward. The blending, the balance and the integration of all aspects of Self within each one of us. And the blending, balance and the integration of each one of us into the fabric of humanity.
I can teach, and show you the road, but I cannot carry you on the path towards self-love and authenticity. You must walk the walk, climb your own mountain. But if you want to go with me, and other women on the path, you may want to check out Self-Love Basecamp.