Afraid of Being Seen as Lazy?
I know (many) moms who secretly wish they would get sick or end up in the hospital just so they could feel justified in resting, sleeping and doing nothing!
When you think about slowing down or resting do you immediately think "lazy?"
Do you relax and then feel guilty for doing nothing? Does your tough inner critic tell you to stop being lazy? Or question whether you deserve to rest when there are so many things that need to be done?
Here's the thing - this guilt and self-talk puts more pressure on you and then you end up never catching a break – you feel stressed when you're too busy and stressed when you're trying to relax! You literally don't get the benefits of rest because you don't actually allow your body to settle.
It’s kind of crazy, isn’t it?
I'm here to give you permission to rest.
You don't need to wait until you get taken down by illness or an injury to feel allowed to relax, rest and get good sleep.
But also, maybe you can get curious about this idea that you have that rest = lazy. Where did that come from? Maybe when you were younger, you were laying on the couch when you had school work to do and a parent told you "go do your work, stop being so lazy." You were just taking a break, but you got the message that when you take a break, it's you being lazy. That's just one possibility. Let this percolate a little, see where you connected those dots. It helps to go back and find where you got the messages that are causing you suffering in your adult life.
And then de-couple them.
So many women I work with fear that if they slow down and rest, they will become lazy or be seen as lazy. That they'll do nothing, ever again. Or that other people will judge them for not pulling their weight...not doing what they are supposed to do. So they keep driving themselves. Turning sleep and rest into another thing to do - managing when they can rest and how much sleep they should get, rather than listening to what their body most needs.
I truly believe that if we were allowed to literally do nothing for as long as we wanted, we probably would do nothing for a while because most of us are so exhausted. But once we were rested, we'd feel the inner drive to get up and do again.
Our human bodies literally need downtime.
It's not a sign of weakness or laziness to rest and take a break (and I don't mean only after you get it all done or when you have earned it, I mean when you feel like you need rest).
Did you know that sleep is when your brain cleans out the toxins?
That slowing our pace is good for the nervous system?
And that being bored is where the best ideas emerge?
Rest is needed so we can refuel ourselves and generate the energy we need to do all of those things we do want and need to do.
It's not about NOT doing, it's about balancing the doing and the being.
But I wonder, are you feeling a little scared to slow down? Wondering if you want to face those things that you know are lurking, but you're trying really hard to avoid facing?
I get that.
If some feelings come up, it’s ok to face them. It’s never as bad as you think it'll be. I promise that you'll be able to handle anything that comes up when you decide to slow down and do less.
When you slow down, you'll begin to discover what's true for you in your heart. As you get to know yourself better (underneath the shoulds), you'll realize that you can be a great mom/boss/partner/employee/entrepreneur AND allow yourself to have desires and needs - including rest, sleep and downtime.
You may choose to say no to some things and yes to things that surprise you.
You may find yourself sillier. Laughing more. Being more open to playing.
You may feel less exhausted.
You may even feel more productive.
And one day you may notice that you enjoy doing absolutely nothing.
Stick with me and you will notice shifts. Please share this with a friend or two if you think they might like this article!
Ready to slow down and take better care of yourself? I can teach, and show you the road, but I cannot carry you on the path towards self-love and authenticity. You must walk the walk, climb your own mountain. But if you want to go with me, and other women on the path, you may want to check out Self-Love Basecamp.