When My Kids Were Little, They Talked To Me
Sure I got the standard, “Fine” when I asked, “How was school?” or “Nothing,” when I asked what they did, but as we did activities together or as I snuggled them at night, they’d tell me things. Things they did and things they wanted, silly things and meaningful things.
As they’ve become teenagers, those conversations have started to dry up a little. As I see less of them, I notice my desire to reconnect at the end of the school day. I work from ho…
It's so easy to neglect self-care because we have too much to do. We KNOW that if we were to take care of ourselves, everything else would be easier and better, but we just can't do it (for a myriad of reasons hidden behind "I don't have the time"). Nevertheless, I recommend we look at it differently.
What if Self-Love is more of how we "be" in the world and the tiny little choices we make all day, rather than "another thing to do on your list?"
What if it's the way we act all day long - can …
The house feels different, dinners feel different. It’s not exactly a “missing him” feeling. It’s more like something feels off.
It feels right in many ways. The 18 years of nurturing and preparing, his launch into the world is predictable, bittersweet. It’s developmentally spot on. It’s that time. It’s a pretty “normal thing to do.”
That he’s happy and adjusting well makes it easier, but the absence is ever present. It’s palpable. The way that his absence has left a void, an emptiness. Not…
I know (many) moms who secretly wish they would get sick or end up in the hospital just so they could feel justified in resting, sleeping and doing nothing!
When you think about slowing down or resting do you immediately think "lazy?"
Do you relax and then feel guilty for doing nothing? Does your tough inner critic tell you to stop being lazy? Or question whether you deserve to rest when there are so many things that need to be done?
Here's the thing - this guilt and self-talk puts more pres…
It seems like there's a lot more to do these days – more email to check, more Jones' to keep up with, more events to attend, more activities to schedule.
But also, like being busy is something to be proud of.
And if you're not busy, people think there must be something wrong with you.
And yet, I think there's something more to this.
Have we decided that we're only valuable if we're busy and productive?
Maybe it doesn’t even matter WHAT we're doing, as long as we're always doin…
Let's talk spirituality and how it connects to YOU and the world.
Is spirituality the same as religion?
I notice there are some who have a pretty strong emotional reaction to the word spirituality because they associate it with organized religion. Many people have a positive response. Many people have a negative response. While “religion” is certainly one way to define spirituality, it feels a bit limiting to me.
I notice others who respond strongly because they hear spirituality as…
By default, if you’re a parent, you worry.
We know in our minds that worrying doesn't help, but that doesn't seem to stop us.
You know how it goes: something happens (your kids are on their iPhones too much) and you tell yourself a story (this is going to be a problem) and then you feel afraid for the future. You go into fear. You play out the possibilities and by the time you're done, you've become the creator of an elaborate story about how their lives are going to be ruined because of t…
In memory of my mom who died on May 2, 2021.
At the very end of my mom's life, my dad and I slept in her room with her. One night I slept at the top of her bed so I could hold her hand and be close to her. The night before that, I sat up watching her and wrote this.
My biggest cheerleader
Always supporting me
"You can do anything," you said
Never doubting anything I wanted to do
Believing in me more than I did myself
You listened and supported
Guided and sacrifice…
I truly believed that I was parenting in a very open-minded and progressive way prior to reading a book called Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn. I've tried very hard to be an open communicator, to resist punishing opting instead for turning it into a learning opportunity, to really hear my children, to love them in a way that I thought was truly unconditional, etc.. I believe that most parents actually do unconditionally love their children – that no matter what our kids do, we'll still lov…
Most of us struggle with the very real and painful condition of never feeling good enough. And it got created in childhood with the best of intentions - the desire all parents have to help our kids make friends, be good people, grow into successful adults and thrive in life.
I know you love your kids. Unconditionally.
The real question isn’t whether we love our kids, but rather – do they FEEL loved unconditionally.
You may be thinking, “Of course they do!” But so often I find that we make love an…