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Advice for Chronic Worriers

Blog Header - Worry Advice

By default, if you’re a parent, you worry.

We know in our minds that worrying doesn't help, but that doesn't seem to stop us.

You know how it goes: something happens (your kids are on their iPhones too much) and you tell yourself a story (this is going to be a problem) and then you feel afraid for the future. You go into fear. You play out the possibilities and by the time you're done, you've become the creator of an elaborate story about how their lives are going to be ruined because of t…

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Are Our Children Really Ours?

Are your children your own

I truly believed that I was parenting in a very open-minded and progressive way prior to reading a book called Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn. I've tried very hard to be an open communicator, to resist punishing opting instead for turning it into a learning opportunity, to really hear my children, to love them in a way that I thought was truly unconditional, etc.. I believe that most parents actually do unconditionally love their children – that no matter what our kids do, we'll still lov…

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Red Pen the Shoulds

Red Pen the Shoulds
Sometimes when we feel busy we end up not proactively looking at our schedule and making sure we're focused on the right things. Sometimes we do the easy things and never get to the important harder stuff. Often we don't ask for help. Mostly we get fixed in the mindset that we need to do it all. But if you were to get sick right now, the world would not stop if you didn't do

A L L.  T H E.  T H I N G S.

I'm not saying you don't do a ton of important, valuable, necessary things. I kno…

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True Self-Love Requires Some Tough Love (Vlog)

2021 Blog True Self-Love Requires Some Tough Love

It's so easy to get confused and think self-love is all about following your moment to moment feelings, only doing what feels good, always choosing what feels comfortable. But it's not! Self-love requires the balance between gentleness and nurturing AND truth and aspirations - reaching for what you want to create in your life. Tough love isn't bad - when we consider the bigger picture...WHY we're doing what we're doing, we sometimes need a little tough love to do what it takes to get there. Some…

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What is Self-Abandonment? (Vlog)

What is Self-Abandonment? (Vlog)
Most of us never got all of our needs met as a child, so we spend the rest of our lives hoping that others will meet those needs for us - spouse, parents, children, friends, bosses, etc. And then, as we become socialized, we learn that parts of us are not acceptable. So what do we do? We learn to abandon ourselves by looking (primarily) outside to others (instead of turning toward ourselves to provide ourselves the care we need) and we learn to abandon parts of ourselves that we have been taught…

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From Mind-Full to Mindful - Part 3: 10 Quick Ways to Get Out of Your Head

From Mind-Full to Mindful - Part 3: 10 Quick Ways to Get Out of Your Head

This is Part 3 of a 3 Part Series. Read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

I spent more than 40 years mostly in my head. I am a “head type” on the Enneagram and being my head’s a very comfortable place for me to be.

But I’ve learned that my best inspirations, ideas, clarity, answers, and solutions come from getting out of my head and into my body, into my heart and into THIS present moment. For some of you, this will not make a lot of sense…so you’ll need to try it to believe it.

For you, I ask you to tr…

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From Mind-Full to Mindful - Part 2: Stopping The Worry & Guilt Cycle

Blog - Mindfull to Mindful (1)

Part 2 of 3. Read Part 1 here and Part 3 here.

This blog post is summarized from Wayne Dyer’s amazing very first book called Your Erroneous Zones.

Okay, let’s get real here…I’m not suggesting that we’re never going to worry again…we’re adults living in a complex world with problems and children and jobs! So we’ve got a lot to worry about.

Full disclosure: I was just up last night at 2:42 worrying. And the truth is that a little bit of worry sometimes PUTS me INTO action.

But what I don’t want for an…

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From Mind-Full to Mindful - Part 1: The 2 Habits That Interfere with Being Present

From Mind-Full to Mindful - Part 2: Stopping The Worry & Guilt Cycle

This is part 1 of a 3 part blog post. Read Part 2 here.

Are you a worrier? Am I alone when I say that sometimes the worrying and thinking gets a bit out of control? My head can be a crazy place sometimes!

One of the things that I worry most about is that my kids are on electronics too much. And then sometimes I realize I'm distracted and not really present with my kids and then allowing them to spend too much time on electronics so I can have “time” to worry and think about “important things”.

It s…

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From Exhausted to Enlivened

True You is enlivening

I spent a lot of my life with the persona of being “nice” and “a good listener” and “adaptable” and “tolerant” and “flexible”. With women in my life, I was a people pleaser, the helper, the hero. Underneath that, at times, I was angry, judgmental, resentful and lacking the connection I craved. But this persona kept me feeling safe.

Fortunately it was also exhausting, kept me separate and required me to abandon myself.

Why fortunately?

Because the pain of inauthenticity grew to be so uncomfortable, …

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Good Health: Focus More on Love and Pleasure, Less on Diets and Pressure

Blog Post Love and Diet

I've always been tough on myself around exercise and healthy eating. I never felt like I WANTED to exercise so I forced myself. I craved sugar and carbs and indulged. Then I beat myself up. The more I beat myself up, the more I ate, the less I exercised. This was my pattern. And a pattern for so many. 

I've been on a self-love journey for the past decade. I always hoped that if I loved myself more, I'd be more motivated to take better care of myself - to nourish myself with whole and healthy food…

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