Blog

Relationships

Shadow Integration 101: Projections

2021 Blogs - Projection

DO YOU KNOW WHAT "PROJECTION" IS?

It's when people place their own negative traits, emotions, flaws or impulses onto another in order to not have to face it in themselves.

This can actually happen with positive attributes too 🙂

Basic gist - "you spot it, you've got it" or when you point one finger at another, three fingers point back at you ;) 

This is why, when we judge another, it says more about us than it does about the other person.

And this is always an exiled, orphaned or disowned p…

Read more…

How To Connect When Your Teen Is Focused on Their Phone

2021 Blogs - FB Format (19)


When My Kids Were Little, They Talked To Me

Sure I got the standard, “Fine” when I asked, “How was school?” or “Nothing,” when I asked what they did, but as we did activities together or as I snuggled them at night, they’d tell me things. Things they did and things they wanted, silly things and meaningful things.

As they’ve become teenagers, those conversations have started to dry up a little. As I see less of them, I notice my desire to reconnect at the end of the school day. I work from ho…

Read more…

If You're Blaming Him For Your Unhappiness, You're Not Ready to Leave

Blaming You Arent Ready to Leave

Note: This message isn’t for anyone in an abusive or toxic marriage. Your safety and health are most important.

In 2010, my marriage was falling apart.

It totally seemed easier to give up.

The idea of focusing on making our marriage better seemed daunting and, sad to say … hopeless. In my mind, I created a fantasy life where I lived with my kids in a cute apartment living a “free” life. I tapped into this fantasy whenever things were particularly crappy and I needed to feel a sense of contr…

Read more…

An Important Tip to Become a Better Listener

Listen Better

I saw this on Facebook today: "Normalize not sharing a relatable story about yourself when someone shares something about themselves, and just listen." 

(note: normalizing doesn't mean eliminating, so don't feel bad if you do this - there is a time and a place for everything!)

I know how hard this is, and most people think that this is showing the person that they're not alone or that they can relate. And yes, at times it can be more of a competition, but I'm not sure that's the most com…

Read more…

One Thing You Can Do to Make the World a Better Place

2021 Blogs - FB Format (6)

Got problems? The world certainly seems to have lots of problems. It seems overwhelming – how can we get ourselves out of the mess we are in? So much fear, war, anger, hate, deceit, self-serving behaviors and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. And don't even get me started on the divisiveness and polarization. The solutions to these problems that we face on a global level are not clear.

“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” Albert Einstein…

Read more…

12 Ways to Ditch Drama in Relationships

2021 Blogs - FB Format (4)

Relationships are complex – we take two or more people with different personalities, belief systems, communication styles, ways of thinking, senses of humor and more and we stick them together and expect them to form connections and relate to one another. Surprisingly, most of us manage to do this quite well.

Inevitably, there are times when we end up in hot water.

Maybe we offend someone or hurt someone’s feelings. Or maybe it’s us who is on the receiving end. It’s bound to happen…it’s part o…

Read more…

You Have to Love Yourself to Love Another. Myth or Reality?

2021 Blogs - FB Format (3)

You’ve probably heard people say “you can only love others as much as you love yourself.”

Myth or reality?

I think it’s a myth.

I mean, you love your kids like crazy, right? And most people have been in loving romantic relationships and have loving, compassionate friendships.

So, nah, I don’t buy it…I think we can love others even when we don’t love ourselves.

But I also think it’s pretty unlikely you’ll be truly happy if you don’t love yourself.

“To me, it’s extremely unlikely that withou…

Read more…

Looking for Love in All The Wrong Places

2021 Blogs - FB Format (2)

Ten years ago, I was deeply entrenched in the belief that if my husband would be more romantic, affectionate, connected, attentive, helpful, fill in the blank, I would be happier. I would feel more loved.

Maybe you can relate on some level?

I believed that my husband caused most of my problems. Truthfully, I was about ready to leave my marriage.

“In life, you can blame a lot of people and you can wallow in self-pity, or you can pick yourself up and say, ‘Listen, I have to be responsible for…

Read more…

Happy Mother's Day to My Mom

2021 Blogs - FB Format

In memory of my mom who died on May 2, 2021.

At the very end of my mom's life, my dad and I slept in her room with her. One night I slept at the top of her bed so I could hold her hand and be close to her. The night before that, I sat up watching her and wrote this. 

My Mom

My biggest cheerleader

Always supporting me

Loving me

"You can do anything," you said


Never doubting anything I wanted to do

Believing in me more than I did myself

You listened and supported

Guided and sacrifice…

Read more…

The Silent Marriage Killer

The Silent Marriage Killer

When you said “I do” to your partner, I’ll bet you never thought you'd become passing ships in the night, tag-teaming to bring one kid here the other kid there, so busy that there would be no time to nurture your relationship.

You may have even vowed to never let that happen to you.

In 2010 - our kids were 6 and 8 - my husband and I reached a crisis point in our marriage. He insisted we speak to our Rabbi. I was not excited about this idea. I was really unhappy, dissatisfied and didn't see how…

Read more…