By default, if you’re a parent, you worry.
We know in our minds that worrying doesn't help, but that doesn't seem to stop us.
You know how it goes: something happens (your kids are on their iPhones too much) and you tell yourself a story (this is going to be a problem) and then you feel afraid for the future. You go into fear. You play out the possibilities and by the time you're done, you've become the creator of an elaborate story about how their lives are going to be ruined because of t…
In memory of my mom who died on May 2, 2021.
At the very end of my mom's life, my dad and I slept in her room with her. One night I slept at the top of her bed so I could hold her hand and be close to her. The night before that, I sat up watching her and wrote this.
My biggest cheerleader
Always supporting me
"You can do anything," you said
Never doubting anything I wanted to do
Believing in me more than I did myself
You listened and supported
Guided and sacrifice…
I truly believed that I was parenting in a very open-minded and progressive way prior to reading a book called Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn. I've tried very hard to be an open communicator, to resist punishing opting instead for turning it into a learning opportunity, to really hear my children, to love them in a way that I thought was truly unconditional, etc.. I believe that most parents actually do unconditionally love their children – that no matter what our kids do, we'll still lov…
It's so easy to get confused and think self-love is all about following your moment to moment feelings, only doing what feels good, always choosing what feels comfortable.
But it's not!
Self-love requires the balance between gentleness and nurturing AND truth and aspirations - reaching for what you want to create in your life. Tough love isn't bad - when we consider the bigger picture...WHY we're doing what we're doing, we sometimes need a little tough love to do what it takes to get there.
When you said “I do” to your partner, I’ll bet you never thought you'd become passing ships in the night, tag-teaming to bring one kid here the other kid there, so busy that there would be no time to nurture your relationship.
You may have even vowed to never let that happen to you.
In 2010 - our kids were 6 and 8 - my husband and I reached a crisis point in our marriage. He insisted we speak to our Rabbi. I was not excited about this idea. I was really unhappy, dissatisfied and didn't see how…
Most of us struggle with the very real and painful condition of never feeling good enough. And it got created in childhood with the best of intentions - the desire all parents have to help our kids make friends, be good people, grow into successful adults and thrive in life.
I know you love your kids. Unconditionally.
The real question isn’t whether we love our kids, but rather – do they FEEL loved unconditionally.
You may be thinking, “Of course they do!” But so often I find that we make love an…
:: Context - I broke my Greater Trochanter / Upper Femur in a skiing accident 12 days before I wrote this ::
Lying in bed last night I got caught in the swirl of thought and fear: I can't handle it anymore. How can I do this for months? Will I ever fully recover? Can I handle the rehab? How much longer do I have to sleep in this position? Will I ever get a good nights' sleep again? I felt trapped and hopeless.
Somehow, even while lying mostly still, I found myself writhing.
In the dark of the nig…
This is Part 3 of a 3 Part Series. Read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.
I spent more than 40 years mostly in my head. I am a “head type” on the Enneagram and being my head’s a very comfortable place for me to be.
But I’ve learned that my best inspirations, ideas, clarity, answers, and solutions come from getting out of my head and into my body, into my heart and into THIS present moment. For some of you, this will not make a lot of sense…so you’ll need to try it to believe it.
For you, I ask you to tr…