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What Does Spirituality Mean to You?

When I have a chance to actually discuss the topic with clients, it is very simple to explain my view of spirituality, understand my clients’ perspective, and come to a common ground semantically (and often philosophically). I notice I regularly attract people who...

Smoothie Recipes

“Introduction to Green Smoothies” Smoothies ~ Perfect for Kids, Created by my Kids! The Bodie-O Berry Mix Yields: 18-20 oz. 1 Banana 1.5 cups of Mixed Frozen Berries (Raspberries, Blueberries, Blackberries, and Strawberries) 1 cup of Orange or Tangerine Juice 3/4 Cup...

You Are Always In Choice ~ The Power of Paradox

We are inundated with choices. We worry that people will judge us for our choices. We fear that we will make the wrong choice and be disappointed. When we make a choice, we experience loss – loss of that which we did not choose. Every day, we have to choose which...

Time, The Great Equalizer

I suspect that almost everyone feels that there is just not enough time in the day. So much to do, so little time. We are chronically feeling pulled in too many directions and feeling that it is impossible to live in this very moment, when this moment is really all we...

Meditation…are you curious?

Meditation has been repeatedly proven to reduce stress levels, reduce blood pressure, increase circulation, strengthen your immune system, relieve chronic pain, improve sleep, reduce anxiety, improve memory and decision making, and maybe even slow aging! And there is...

Breathing Exercise

Inspiration in Action by Deb Blum Inspiration: Your breathing is your greatest friend. Return to it in all your troubles and you will find comfort and guidance. ~The Teaching of Buddhist Master Action: Breathing exercises can reduce stress, increase energy, and...

Happiness is an Inside Job

Inspiration in Action by Deb Blum Inspiration: Instead of seeking outside of ourselves, we need to go to the source and realize who we really are. ~Deepak Chopra’s 8-Week Happiness Series (Week 3, Authentic Self-Esteem) Action: Ask yourself: “What void is so big in my...

One Way to Make the World a Better Place

Got problems? The world certainly seems to have lots of problems. It seems overwhelming – how can we get ourselves out of the mess we are in? So much fear, war, anger, hate, deceit, self-serving behaviors and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. The solutions to these...

Fear of Criticism’s Impact on Being Yourself

How do you feel about criticism? Do you do everything you can do avoid it? Does your fear of criticism hold you back from being your true self? "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind." ~Dr. Seuss For...

Live In The Present

Inspiration in Action by Deb Blum Inspiration: “The big horrible thing isn’t the plane crash or the earthquake or the diagnosis. When those things occur, we act, we know what to do. We live or we die. Hell is what we do in the meantime. It is the way we starve our...

You are humanity's greatest hope.

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Parenting

 

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Parenting 3.0 Podcast

Future of Humanity

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FOR ALL OF YOU WHO KNOW THAT HOW WE RAISE, EDUCATE, AND RELATE TO OUR KIDS MATTERS

We’re living in uncertain, chaotic, and challenging times. How the adults respond to our circumstances, how we lead our children through, will make a difference in how they grow from, learn from, and reflect upon this period in our history. It’s our responsibility to do our own inner work that enables us to be the parents, teachers, and leaders our kids need us to be. Together, we can find a new way forward that will cultivate future generations of resilient, securely attached, thriving, and well-prepared adults.

The way forward

Impact the future of humanity through your Parenting

Let’s Explore What’s Possible Together

For moms who get it all done & want to raise thriving kids.

I love what you’re doing with your family. I see you striving for greatness, putting so much time and work into everything you do for them. Learning everything you can to raise your kids in a healthy way. But maybe you’re wondering, what’s next? Where do you go from here, to create a family life that fulfills you, brings you closer to your loved ones, and makes you feel fully alive? How can you get there from here? How can you raise your kids in an impactful way?

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Parent in technicolor

Together with Jai Flicker, Deb Blum hosts The Parenting 3.0 Podcast.

Time for an upgrade?

Parenting 1.0

For most of human history, people have parented the way their parents and grandparents did, with culture providing the cues. We didn’t have to ask questions – we just learned from our elders and culture around us. Parents didn’t think about being “good” parents, they just parented based on tradition and instinct. The quality of our parenting was largely an accident of the family we grew up in and the culture we inherited. Often this followed a more dominant or authoritarian parenting style where the parent “knows best” and the kids followed the rule book.

Parenting 2.0

Along the way, for various cultural reasons, parents started turning to experts to learn to parent instead of following the lead of their parents and grandparents. This was the beginning of intentional parenting. In some cases this evolution allowed for real advances, but over time, an endless stream of conflicting advice has led to confusion as we’ve lost touch with our natural parenting instincts. Often this results in parents orienting around the child, wanting more connection with their kids, but feeling like there are no clear guidelines therefore parenting feels hard.

Parenting 3.0

All parents – and kids – want, and need, to feel close and connected. Securely attached kids are more likely to develop healthy self-esteem, show greater resilience and achieve greater emotional regulation. Parenting 3.0 is an integrated parenting framework designed to support parents to be the most competent, effective parent they can be by curating the best parenting wisdom and research. We offer a new parenting story that will awaken and empower our natural parenting instincts so we can confidently navigate the inevitable challenges that arise in raising children.

The Future of Humanity Requires Us To:

01

Attach

Raise our children with secure attachment

In order for kids to grow up healthy and most able to grow up into their full potential, they must not have to work for their parent’s love, affection and connection. Children need their parents to anticipate and fulfill their psychological and emotional needs without the child needing to do anything. Children need a secure base from which they can explore. In order to successfully do this, parents will need to be doing the work at the foundational level. They can use the times they are triggered and otherwise activated by their children as the fodder for their growth.

02

Learn

Understand trauma in order to prevent it

In order to prevent trauma, we must understand it. Parents and schools should be trauma-informed and should be prioritizing secure attachment and relationships first before academics.

03

Connect

Prioritize the relationship over behavior management

Children cooperate when they feel connected, understood and valued.

04

Allow

Allow our children to be their authentic selves

Rather than focus on molding our kids into someone we wish them to be, we must shift toward allowing them to become who they are meant to be.

05

Regulate

We must develop emotional intelligence and resilience

This does not come from toughening them up. Rather this comes from the foundational work – our inner work. The more our nervous system is regulated, the more emotionally intelligent, the more conscious and the more resilient we are, the more they will be able to learn from us and co-regulate to us. This will provide them with the inner skills and resources to thrive in an unpredictable and challenging world.

06

Support

Round them out by allowing space to develop

We must be watching for the places where they excel and are gifted and allow for those to flourish. However, we must also be looking for places within them that need a little extra support. For example, if they tend to be very intelligent and school comes easily, there is no need to focus there, but perhaps you will need to spend a little more focus on allowing space for them to develop some of their emotional intelligence. This is not to downplay their strengths or even try to get them to be masters in other areas – rather to provide them with the confidence and well-roundedness to thrive in relationships.

07

Socialize

Intentionally condition our children

No conditioning at all is not helpful. We must be aware of how much our kids are conditioned by us and our biases, by our family, media, school, friends, etc. Rather than protect our kids from this, we engage in dialogue, help them to be a free thinker and critical thinker. Make some things non-negotiable and most things conversation starters. Pro-social conditioning will make our children easier to be with and more likeable which is important. If our kids are teased a lot, bullied or otherwise not welcomed into the community, he/she will struggle in other ways.

08

Care

Make parenting something you learn to do better

It’s easy to just think that parenting should be natural. And to some degree it is. But it also requires attention and a commitment to learn – to watch our children, to be present with them, to have patience with ourselves to see what emerges in situations. To resist the instinctual desire to be overprotective and to resist the reactivity that wells up inside of us at times. Parenting requires us to put the needs of our kids ahead of our own, requires us to constantly do our own work and create a support system for ourselves.

09

Trust

Parents must feel free to trust themselves and make financial sacrifices

Swimming upstream is hard, but we must be willing to make our children a priority. We must be willing to go against what others say if we know it’s best for our children and our family.

10

Play

Bring back play and recess at School

Teachers need to prioritize the relationship first. Academics will come naturally when a child feels supported and cared for and when his/her basic needs are met. Academics are needed but there must be a way to meet the kids where they are rather than setting an arbitrary timeline for what our kids should achieve. Some will move quickly, some slowly. It all needs to be more aligned with each child’s natural development.  

Recommended Reading & Resources

Find a New Perspective

To All Moms Who Will Never Have a Daughter

To All Moms Who Will Never Have a Daughter

You’re not alone and it does get better. Two moms are here to tell you how it’s been for us. The awesome Kelly Pietrangeli from My Project Me weighs in with her perspective as a mom of two boys: I always knew I’d have a boy and a girl. I have one brother. My husband...

Becoming Friends With Technology

Becoming Friends With Technology

Technology is not the enemy (but stay tuned for a future post on what I think really IS the enemy). I don’t see technology as the enemy. I think it’s like anything else – yet another place where we can instill our own values and guide our children so that they are...

A Love Letter to Moms from Deb Blum

A Love Letter to Moms from Deb Blum

Dear Moms, I want you to be a great parent…and love your life…and have a love life. And I know you can have it all. I wonder, do you… feel overwhelmed by the act of raising kids and maybe even feel a little resentful? work on yourself, read self-help books, watch...

Are Our Children Actually Ours?

Are Our Children Actually Ours?

I truly believed that I was parenting in a very open-minded and progressive way prior to reading a book called Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn. I have tried very hard to be an open communicator, to resist punishing opting instead for turning it into a learning...

12 Tips To Connect With Your (Older) Boys {Original}

12 Tips To Connect With Your (Older) Boys {Original}

[NOTE: This was originally published in the SMMC Crier, a newsletter published for the moms in the Southern Marin Mother’s Club.] “There is an enduring tenderness in the love of a mother to a son that transcends all other affections of the heart.” ~Washington Irving...

God, What Should We Teach Our Children? {Shared Book}

God, What Should We Teach Our Children? {Shared Book}

This is a direct lift from the book “Communion with God” by Neale Donald Walsch. If you have not read this book already, you may want to explore it. If you have an issue with God, replace it with whatever word you prefer – Universe, Highest Self, Spirit, Soul, etc. I...

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