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What Does Spirituality Mean to You?

When I have a chance to actually discuss the topic with clients, it is very simple to explain my view of spirituality, understand my clients’ perspective, and come to a common ground semantically (and often philosophically). I notice I regularly attract people who...

Smoothie Recipes

“Introduction to Green Smoothies” Smoothies ~ Perfect for Kids, Created by my Kids! The Bodie-O Berry Mix Yields: 18-20 oz. 1 Banana 1.5 cups of Mixed Frozen Berries (Raspberries, Blueberries, Blackberries, and Strawberries) 1 cup of Orange or Tangerine Juice 3/4 Cup...

You Are Always In Choice ~ The Power of Paradox

We are inundated with choices. We worry that people will judge us for our choices. We fear that we will make the wrong choice and be disappointed. When we make a choice, we experience loss – loss of that which we did not choose. Every day, we have to choose which...

Time, The Great Equalizer

I suspect that almost everyone feels that there is just not enough time in the day. So much to do, so little time. We are chronically feeling pulled in too many directions and feeling that it is impossible to live in this very moment, when this moment is really all we...

Meditation…are you curious?

Meditation has been repeatedly proven to reduce stress levels, reduce blood pressure, increase circulation, strengthen your immune system, relieve chronic pain, improve sleep, reduce anxiety, improve memory and decision making, and maybe even slow aging! And there is...

Breathing Exercise

Inspiration in Action by Deb Blum Inspiration: Your breathing is your greatest friend. Return to it in all your troubles and you will find comfort and guidance. ~The Teaching of Buddhist Master Action: Breathing exercises can reduce stress, increase energy, and...

Happiness is an Inside Job

Inspiration in Action by Deb Blum Inspiration: Instead of seeking outside of ourselves, we need to go to the source and realize who we really are. ~Deepak Chopra’s 8-Week Happiness Series (Week 3, Authentic Self-Esteem) Action: Ask yourself: “What void is so big in my...

One Way to Make the World a Better Place

Got problems? The world certainly seems to have lots of problems. It seems overwhelming – how can we get ourselves out of the mess we are in? So much fear, war, anger, hate, deceit, self-serving behaviors and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. The solutions to these...

Fear of Criticism’s Impact on Being Yourself

How do you feel about criticism? Do you do everything you can do avoid it? Does your fear of criticism hold you back from being your true self? "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind." ~Dr. Seuss For...

Live In The Present

Inspiration in Action by Deb Blum Inspiration: “The big horrible thing isn’t the plane crash or the earthquake or the diagnosis. When those things occur, we act, we know what to do. We live or we die. Hell is what we do in the meantime. It is the way we starve our...

You are humanity's greatest hope.

Get Your "Be More You" Guide Here

Most moms have been told “take care of yourself”. Self-care has become pretty mainstream.

But I see a lot of moms stuck at self-care when their soul is asking for self-love.

Seriously, I highly recommend self-care. I recommend that we all get 7–8 hours of sleep at night, and if we have new babies, that we sleep during the day when they sleep. We need to move our bodies, eat reasonably healthfully, and take time to do nurturing things that refresh and rejuvenate us. You may choose to meditate, rest, socialize, get in nature, get mani/pedis, sing, write . . .

Are you doing that? Taking care of yourself—and still feeling like something’s missing? I was totally good about girls’ nights, pedicures, exercise, and other forms of self-care.

But I still felt a sense of emptiness … unfulfilled and resentful … like something was wrong with or missing in my life.

I’ll always advocate for self-care, but to get what you really want, you need self-love.

I needed to know myself, accept myself for who I am, and bring more of ME into my life, my family, my friendships, and my work. I needed to honor my own hopes, dreams, and aspirations and value myself enough to reach for them.

Make Yourself a Priority

I wanted to unravel all of the beliefs and conditioning that have been layered upon me and find the real me.

I needed to treat myself with the respect, kindness, and support I would give a best friend.

I wanted to feel comfortable in my own skin and safe to be me, fully.

My relationship with ME needed to become a priority.

That’s self-love.

There’s probably a little voice in your head thinking “that sounds self-indulgent” or “selfish.” I get it, we’ve been conditioned to believe that it’s noble to care for everyone else and put ourselves last.

But let’s be clear:

woman standing in green field

Photo by Olia Nayda on Unsplash

Self-love is the conscious act of learning to accept and love ourselves so that we can give and receive love more freely.
The more I love myself, the more capacity I have to love others. The more I accept myself, the more I can accept you.

It’s the opposite of selfish.

Self-love is powerful. Self-love is transformative.

When we learn to love ourselves, it’s truly a gift to others around us.

When we love ourselves, we

  • can get more comfortable with disappointment. When things don’t work out, we don’t see ourselves as a failure. Instead, we recognize that shit happens!
  • understand that we need support, kindness and compassion and that we’re entitled to it. So we offer ourselves support and kindness, or even seek some extra in the arms of a loved one or friend, knowing that we deserve it. That we are enough.
  • become less concerned with success and achievement and begin to see that we’re lovable and good enough even when we make mistakes and experience failure. We relish in the journey and not just the goal. And when we are striving for a goal, it stops us from judging ourselves as not enough right up until we achieve that goal.

Self-love is the foundation for authentic connection. We all need human connection, and self-love helps us learn to break down the barriers within us that keep us from true connection with ourselves and others.

So, don’t give up that mani-pedi or girls’ night out – we need those!

But if you’re rocking your self-care and still feel the need for something more or something different, maybe self-love is really what you’re looking for. Self-love requires a lot of inner work, but it’s a transformational path that leads you to beautiful places – it’s the unexpected path to true happiness.

 

Click here to read more about Personal Growth.

 

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